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The Dating Scene: Is Commodity In and Courting Out?

I had a date the other night…(oh! don’t fall off your chair, I saw that!), who at the end of the evening, after kissing my hand 4 times during dinner, turned to me in the car and said, “So, what do you think about us?”

“Huh?” I said dumbly as I was thinking about racing home to see my very handsome rabbit.

“What do you think about me and you? I believe in getting it all out on the table so that nobody wastes time.” He looked at me intently.

“Uh, um, I don’t think we can conclude our compatibility for the long term after 3 hours. My plan was to go home and if in a couple days I’m still thinking about you, then we should see eachother again.” I said.

“Yeah, I want that feeling, that ‘I can’t wait to talk to you feeling’ you know, that’s important to me. Yeah, what you’re saying sounds fair. But don’t wait too long, I have other potentials I’m dating. I’m looking for a mate. That’s what I want, a mate.”

“I heard Rexall Drugs has a sale on those.” I said.

I’m sure he thought he was getting to know me. He asked me why my relationships in the past failed, who broke up with whom, and what would I like to change about myself in my relationships that doesn’t work. At first, I gave thoughtful answers. ‘Well, there was the guy with A.D.D. I had so much fun with him, but I often couldn’t get to sentence number two without interruption back to his own situation, which he would pontificate on for several minutes. ‘Where’s the A.D.D. now I would wonder.’

A different guy a couple weeks ago called me late at night and left a message to ask me out on our first date at my house while I cooked for him.

Is getting to know one another out of fashion?

I realized after the date with this guy, that I probably was supposed to ask him how much money he made, if he had ever been married, does he have any kids, how does he feel about therapy, does he clean his house, does he own or rent, does he plan to be in the area for awhile, what is the worst thing a woman has ever accused him of, and what foods does he like?

Instead, I grazed on sushi and looked for hooks into fascinating subjects like English as a second language, rabbits, the violin, favorite travel experiences in Europe and dreams for the future. Because I believe over time people get to know one another through inspiring conversation, observation and experiences. But that’s just me.

My love affair with my rabbit is still winning out.
I can’t wait to see him all the time.

And, he lets me do all the talking.



  • Liz on Nov 12, 2005 Reply

    Love the new look… OH and the words too, look not to out do words and such. Is it okay to say, tell me if it’s rude, that I am glad not to be dating these days…. cuz if I were, I’d have a bunny too.

  • Simone on Oct 30, 2005 Reply

    Yes! Yes! Yes! I think I know exactly how you feel. A week ago I had met two guys online. One wanted to immediately go to Hawaii, the other one called me on Sunday and left me all his numbers on voicemail. As of Monday, the Sunday caller had already met another girl and so wanted to know if I “wouldn’t mind waiting to see how that worked out” before we could talk.
    The “Let’s go to Hawaii” dude called me Tuesday morning at 7:30 am to ask me out for dinner that night. And even though I had already told him I was tied up with rehearsals all week.
    Did I mention he called at 7:30 in the freakin’ AM?
    You may wonder, which one did I form an attachment to in the first place?
    Of course, the Sunday one (he was the least available). Not really an attachment, just that it pissed me off that he turned me down 1 day after giving me his phone number.

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